It’s been about 2 months since I started therapy and although so much has happened since then, I’ve learned a lot and I’m ready to work on my personal goals again.
I don’t know how many times I’ve vowed to lose weight, but I know it’s been a lot. Something always comes up, throws me off track, and prevents me from continuing to make progress. Normally, I’d feel even worse about myself because of it, but therapy has helped me have more self-compassion.
Maybe every time I’ve tried to lose weight but failed, I haven’t actually been failing. I’m just finding out what doesn’t work for me and ultimately learning to try something else instead. Every time I’ve wanted things to be perfect and gave up because it wasn’t, it’s been wearing down my soul and guiding me to embrace imperfection. I’m realizing that change isn’t black and white or cut and dry. It’s terribly messy and everything counts.
If you spill a soda on the floor, you don’t wait until it is empty before you clean it up. You grab it as quick as you can so you don’t have to do as much damage control. If it’s snowing, sometimes you still shovel your driveway anyway because it would be too heavy to shovel it all at the end.
The same principal should apply to every aspect of life. I shouldn’t wait to do certain things because I’m not where I want to be. I should still be practicing self-care and making small changes that will help me reach my goals.
So, that’s my new goal: to take small steps and not give up. I’ll be starting my weight loss journey again, even though it’s just a random Thursday. I’ll be buying cute clothes, even though I haven’t lost any weight. I’ll still go on vacations, even though I’m really self-conscious. I’ll still go for walks outside, spend time gardening, and stop long enough to smell the flowers. I’ll still let myself have fun and enjoy the journey.